life life lessons

4 months ago… part 4… the end of my life as I knew it…

24th of October, 2015. Saturday…

I spent all day keeping busy, getting ready to come back home, get a job, fix my relationship…

I managed not to cry the whole day, but after saying goodbye to my sisters at the airport, I broke down. I cried a lot on my own that day at the airport. That’s when I realised that I can’t control my feelings any more. I still to the day can’t. I overreact when I’m in pain because there is still so much pain inside. And overreacting is never good, I’d come to regret that later on…

My ex came to pick me up from the airport. I knew the moment I saw him that something bothered him. It took us a long time to get back home from the airport (bloody roadworks!) and I had this horrific headache so we spent most of the time in silence.

As soon as I went home, I had a shower and tried to sleep. I wouldn’t have had a good night sleep for weeks after that…

25th of October, Sunday…

I woke up early, I couldn’t sleep much anyway… I unpacked everything, did some cleaning and then he woke up.

And we had a chat. He wanted us to break up. I just broke down into tears (I do that a lot since then). I knew the relationship was not going well, I knew we needed time apart… I knew I agreed with him.

Lesson 10. Being in a relationship is not easy… Being honest and openly discussing everything what worries you with your other half is vital… 

We needed time apart to find ourselves again, to become who we used to be before the relationship and the circumstances changed us and made us unhappy … Before I stopped being myself, open, chatty, confident…

LESSON 11. Your happiness does not depend solely on another person. Your happiness comes from you. Before you get into any relationship or if you are in a relationship, make sure you have separate lives and you are happy with your life regardless of that person. Being in a relationship should make you happier but it shouldn’t be your only source of happiness!

I felt I lost the ground under my feet… I was in grief, unemployed and single… My life as I knew it had ended in minutes. LESSON 12. Don’t take anything for granted. Your life can change in a second!

But I put my strong face on and the same night I went out with Shebz to a choir social and I tried to have as much fun as I could, because I thought life is too short, I needed to get out and not stay at home, cry and be miserable… Life goes on no matter what…

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